A few reflections from an empty bedroom in Sevilla

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

This quote was my Facebook status when I said goodbye to my friends at Wheaton in December last semester to embark on a whole new, unknown adventure in Spain. Now, this quote comes to mind again as I am saying my final goodbyes to what has been an absolutely amazing journey. I am overwhelmed by the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me all over the world: His faithfulness resounds in everything I see and experience. "As for God, His way is perfect: The Lord's Word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him" (Psalm 18:30).

Today I took my last final and then we had a celebration at school where we watched a slideshow of pictures from throughout the semester, followed by a rather emotional goodbye with the professors and administrators at Acento. I have truly had some of the best professors of my life here in Spain and have learned so much Spanish, and about myself as well as about life through their teaching. 

Kelsey and I with our Literature professor, Salva

My wonderful grammar and art professor, Carmen

Katie! The Student Ministries Director and one of two American employees on site

I think it will take some time to process through all that I have done and learned this semester, but I will share a few reflections (which are probably pretty obvious, but have just stood out to me) that I have been having as I prepare to leave this adventure and head toward a new one: summer 2013 and into fall as an RA!

The magnitude and omnipresence of God: As I travel around new countries and places I have never seen, the thought that these places have been around for countless centuries with people living their lives and having their daily routines and customs put me in awe. I entered into those spaces just for a blip on the timeline, into their world to see and experience it, and then leave again, possibly to never return. As much wanderlust as I have, I will never see every corner of the world (I haven't even seen every corner of Leawood, Kansas!), but I am so thankful for the small corners I have seen and experienced. God has been in each and everyone of those communities for all time and will continue to be there and with those people, along with literally every other place in the world. That is mind-blowing. His magnitude is staggering, and also truly comforting. A struggle I really had this semester was in regard to the kids from East Sevilla with whom I worked for my service learning class. They come from such broken homes and are without a lot of hope in their circumstances. Leaving them was very difficult for me. My comfort comes from the One who created them, sustains them, loves them, and always has been and always will be with them. He is truly marvelous. 

The simplicity of fun: Okay, so this one isn't quite as "profound"... But I do think God re-taught me what fun is this semester. Studying abroad is awesome and traveling is incredible and I love and enjoy it all, but it's not "fun" per se. Fun is found in the littlest, simplest things. Both Wheaton and Kansas have earned the reputation of being boring and not fun, but I beg to differ. One does not need to be in Spain or Amsterdam or on a mountain or on the beach to have fun. I did a lot of really amazing things this semester, but probably the most purely "fun" night (full of laughter and care-free enjoyment) was the movie night Lauren, Becca, Kate and I had in Switzerland. I suppose watching chick flicks with popcorn and chocolate in our pj's is such a common occurrence in the States that we have taken it for granted. But it is so much fun. That was the only movie night (besides with our señora's granddaughter and a couple sort of at school) that happened all semester since we aren't really supposed to go to each other's houses here, and we enjoyed every minute of it. Although I am growing up and maturing, I hope I will never lose that desire to be silly and to have fun wherever I am and whatever I am doing.

The limitlessness of friendship: In my microeconomics class last semester, we learned about the production possibilities frontier, which is a curve that societies try to reach by maximizing their resources. Usually a community falls somewhere inside the curve and the goal is to work their point out to it by increasing their efficiency. However, there are certain cases (improvement in technology, improvement in production productivity) where the whole curve can move out instead of just the point moving closer to the curve, which would mean that the society's capacity is increasing. I hope I explained that well... But this does relate to how I view friendship! I am blessed with some truly incredible friends from home and school. With several of them, I already felt incredibly close, more so than I ever had with friends before. I was at that place about a year and a half ago, and now I feel so much closer to each of them. It's like my point was reaching the maximum on my old production possibilities frontier, but now the curve itself has moved out. God is increasing my capacity to love because I am learning to understand more and more how much He first loves me. That not only applies to the friends I already had, but the incredible new ones I am making. I didn't really think I had room for more "best friends" and I didn't want to short the ones I already had. But I am learning that each friend has their own place in my life and that loving another doesn't take away from the first. God has created us to be in community (especially me, as world's biggest extrovert...) and that is a beautiful thing. I am so looking forward to returning to my amazing friends in the States and continuing to know them better and gain more capacity to love and trust them, and also to keep in touch with the friends I have made in Spain. God's love for us is boundless, and I desire to love the individuals in my life as selflessly as possible, through His help.

There are a few things I have been learning. . . Thanks for following my adventures this semester. I fly back home tomorrow morning and will say my last goodbye to this beautiful city and the wonderful people here then. See many of you soon! :)

Now for the lasts. . .

Thinking back to all the "firsts" and new experiences I have had this semester, as well as the many ways I have grown, it is crazy to be experiencing many "lasts" of my semester abroad. It is sad of course, I'm still sentimental me. But although I hate goodbyes, I do love hello agains and will be thrilled to see my family, friends, and two homes again. I have four days left in Sevilla during which I hope to make the most of the last of the lasts, but for now I will share a few goodbyes I had this week.

We met for the last time as a small group (which my friend Jana and I have led all semester) last Monday, and celebrated by going out for tapas at our favorite place. We then had our last day off of school on Wednesday, which some friends and I spent taking pictures in the Plaza de España with the mosaics dedicated to each Spanish city we have visited over the semester. Thursday was my last day with Acción Solidaria which was super sad, but also wonderful. The kids with whom four of us have been working each week all semester made us all giant cards with the sweetest things written on them and I teared up. My friend Lauren and I had made them cookie cake (which we thought would be a good typical American snack) and gave them each a printed picture of the four of us and an American coin. We gave each of them "besitos" and had to tell them goodbye, which was hard. As one of the things they wrote on my card translates to "we will never forget you," I will never forget them or stop praying for them and the hard situations each of them are in. After our last time, we went out for dinner with the teacher Maca and her friend which was a blast! We went to her other friend's bar for tapas in one of the most popular parts of Center Sevilla.

We will miss Sevilla!

Remembering other cities we've gone to

Playing soccer at the park with our kids

Our Acción Solidaria group after dinner (Steve, Catie, Maca, me, Lauren)

Finally, my last excursion to somewhere outside Sevilla was this weekend. Emma, Josiah and I rather spontaneously decided it would be a shame to not make it to Portugal and we had heard that the beach in Lagos was incredible, so we made it happen. We spent Saturday at a couple beaches there and explored the cute, little town. We stayed in a great apartment that had a pool right outside it so we also took advantage of laying out there and reading. Sunday morning we went sea kayaking which included going into sea caves, and then caught a bus right after our kayak tour home to Sevilla for the last time. It was a super fun weekend and I am so thankful for the 6 countries I have gotten to go to over this last semester. 

Emma and I on the cliffs in Lagos

Where Christopher Columbus believed to be the edge of the world

Beautiful Lagos

At the beach

With our kayak!

I have already had to say goodbye to two friends who went home early, which in a way makes my upcoming goodbye a bit more real. It is crazy to think that I am going home for the first time since I have learned and experienced all that I have this semester, but I am greatly looking forward to it. The end of this semester only means the beginning of a new and hopefully wonderful chapter that God has prepared for me. Praise Him!

T minus 2 weeks. . .

My semester in Spain is quickly approaching the end. I can hardly believe it... this one has gone by faster than any semester of my life (and that is saying something). It feels like I have hardly done or learned anything because it has flown by, even though I know that is not true as I have experienced so many new things and learned so much about myself. There are many small things that I will miss: siesta time in the afternoons, my walk to school over the Guadalquivir River everyday, toasted bread with marmalade and black tea each morning, going out for tapas at 10 pm.... And there are also of course big things I will miss: the truly incredible friends I have made while here, my señora's kind hospitality, the opportunity to travel, the wonderful professors and administrators at school I have gotten to know... But at the same time, I am preparing myself to come home. I'm sure going back will be a bigger adjustment than I am expecting, but I am so looking forward to seeing friends and family back home, and getting back to the familiar culture and lifestyle that I know and love, and which I think I will be able to appreciate even more now. I am constantly thanking God for the ways He has blessed me and praising Him for His consistency and never-failing goodness... Even as I am leaving a new home to return to old familiar ones (both Kansas and Wheaton), He is and has been present in each of them always. I can trust Him as I leave this adventure and begin a new one. He is with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9).

This last week since getting back from Switzerland has been very busy, but full of wonderful things. Kate and I spent all week planning and preparing for a surprise bridal shower for our two engaged friends here: Jana and Amber. We had the surprise Thursday after school in the library and they were both shocked. We had planned some fun games and made cookie cakes, etc. and it was fun to hang out with all the girls, including the staff, from the program. I am so excited for both these wonderful ladies as they get married in June and December, respectively, AND I will get to go to Jana's wedding in Iowa this summer which I am beyond excited about!

Kate and I baking the cookie cakes for the shower at one of the school administrator's houses!

Kate and I with the brides-to-be

The beautiful brides :)

Friday we had our final excursion with the school to Huelva, which is west of Sevilla. There we got to visit the monastery where Christopher Columbus spent time praying and waiting before his voyage to the Americas, and then we saw replicas of his boats very close to where they were constructed. It was a very cool field trip, which then ended with an afternoon at the beach outside Huelva! It was a wonderful day, and night as well back in Sevilla. Some of the girls and I went out for what is literally called a nacho mountain from one of the bars, then got ice cream, and had a movie night on my friends' apartment roof.

The monastery where Columbus lived

A contract signed by Columbus and Queen Isabel

On La Pinta

Beach day with school!

Out for ice cream 

Yesterday a few friends and I took another beach day to Matalascañas. It was a lovely, relaxing day and I am loving the opportunity to take day trips to the beach, which I have never had in my life! This morning I got up early to watch some friends run a 10k in the northern part of Sevilla. It was super fun to watch and support them (since I am not a runner myself) and to experience an event like that in Spain. This week will be my last normal week since our last one is full of final exams. I pray I will truly be able to take it in and begin to prepare my heart to say goodbye to this beautiful city!

Matalascañas 

Beach day with the ladies

Jana and I after her race

La Feria & Switzerland

Last week (April 16- 21) was the week of the biggest party in Andalucia: La Feria. We only had class on Monday and then a bunch of us went to explore the rows and rows of casetas (the fancy tents where people go by invitation during La Feria to eat and dance) as well as Calle Inferno, which had a bunch of carnival rides. At midnight they lit up the portada (front gate), which each year is dedicated to a different monument in Sevilla and this year it was the Plaza de España (my favorite). The fairgrounds are actually in my neighborhood so the next day it was easy for me to go for a little bit and then come home to eat meals and such in between. That day I bought a flower for my hair, we went into a caseta that my friend had been invited to, bought some typical Feria treats, and ended with a ferris wheel ride. It was a very cultural experience: all the women were wearing flamenco dresses, people were dancing and drinking in all the casetas, and it was super hot. I am definitely glad I got to experience it, but one day was enough for me. It was beautiful, colorful, incredibly crowded, and unlike anything I've ever seen.

Looking into a caseta

Jana and I right after the portada lit up

Kate and I in the colorful streets of the fairgrounds

Looking into a super nice caseta

Kelsey and I with flowers in our hair looking at the portada

Becca and I in Calle Inferno

View from the ferris wheel

On Wednesday, my roommate Becca and our friends Kate and Lauren and I took a train to Madrid and then a plane to Geneva, Switzerland! We were slightly worried about getting to our apartment upon arriving in Geneva, because we got in at 9:00 o'clock pm and weren't sure how exactly to get there. However, once we landed we asked someone, found free bus tickets in the airport, and took the bus right to the end of the street where we were staying (the bus driver told us where to get off and where to go). Then we met the nice young couple who owned the apartment and lived right next door who gave us sodas and tea, and then we found chocolate (along with other food) left in our fridge from the people who had stayed there before! It was a very warm welcome to a wonderful stay in Switzerland. The next day we knew was supposed to be our nicest weather-wise so we decided to go ahead and hike that day. We had asked the lady who owned our apartment where to go and she recommended Mount Saleve, which is actually across the border into France. We spent the day hiking up the steep trail with minimal water, but making it to the top was glorious! There was where we filled our water bottles and snacked on bread, jam, and the most amazing fiber cookies that became the staple of our trip. We took naps and had a dance party on top of the mountain before going back down. After getting back to our apartment, we took naps and then prepared to go out for our one meal out in Switzerland (which was not cheap) and made us decide to buy the food for the rest of our meals at the grocery store. Friday we spent the day in Geneva, and although rainy, we still had a great day. Lauren goes to Calvin College in Michigan and since John Calvin lived in Geneva, there is a Calvin College there as well! We explored that campus and then went to a park with giant chess boards and a Reformation Wall memorial, as well as to John Calvin's house. There are also many cute antique shops and neat buildings in the old town. The city is truly very beautiful and interesting and we had a great time exploring. That night we made spaghetti at our apartment and when I went over to chat with the lady about a day trip for the next day, I casually asked where we could rent a movie in English. She said she had tons, and then her husband hooked up his laptop to our t.v. and told us to watch whatever we wanted! We made popcorn and ate chocolate we had bought while watching a chick flick. It was such a blast after having been walking in the rain all day, and we hadn't had any sort of movie night like that all semester because in Spain we can't really go to each other's houses. Although so simple and something we do all the time in the States, it was a treat for us and we had an awesome time with our movie night. Saturday we got up and took the most beautiful train rides I have ever been on, first to the town of Montreaux, and then to Gruyeres. We only stayed in Montreaux for an hour just to see its beautiful lakeside view. It was incredible. Gruyeres is further up into the mountains: a tiny preserved medieval town, without cars and with a castle. We had a lot of fun there and it was absolutely gorgeous. Saturday night we made pizza and hung out, enjoying having our own apartment. Sunday we packed up all our stuff and walked around Geneva again, seeing the famous fountain without fog and rain this time, as we had on Friday. We also saw the famous flower clock and bought a couple small souvenirs before heading to the airport. It was a wonderful trip: super relaxing and beautiful, and just very fun. We didn't worry about school once and just enjoyed being in such a gorgeous and laid back country. I wasn't quite ready to leave Switzerland, as I did love it, and coming back to Sevilla meant the end of my big trips for the semester and the soon approaching final exams and leaving Europe. It will be great to see everyone and be back in the States, but it will also be hard to leave this place that has been my home for the last 4 months. As a ridiculously sentimental person, goodbyes are always hard for me. . . but hello again's are my favorite. Guess that means I will need to come back to Sevilla (and Switzerland) someday!

Crossing the Switzerland/France border

View as we were hiking

Made it to the top!

Lauren and I on top of Mt. Saleve with the Alps in the background

Awesome park in Geneva

The Calvinist with the Reformation Wall

Gorgeous train ride

Beautiful flowers in Montreaux

About to make the climb up to Gruyeres 

Gruyeres

The castle garden

Geneva

The one whom Jesus loves

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:1-8

My roommate from Wheaton, Emily, knows so well how to encourage me, even from so far away. Before I came to Spain she gave me a special homemade envelope that has a Spain map on one side  and the same paper as from the lanterns that hung in our room last semester on the other. Inside the envelope are 17 letters: one to open for each Sunday from the time I left until the time I return home. Every letter has some sort of picture (whether of us, or of our old room, or a beautiful picture she the talented photographer has taken) as well as a Bible verse, artwork she has done, and a sweet note. I look forward so much to Sundays as they are very relaxing here in Spain and I usually am either traveling home to Sevilla or spending time "tranquilamente" with friends, and I get to open my letter from Emily! Psalm 63:1-8 were the verses awaiting me today, and are a wonderful reminder of why I am here and who I am. When my mom was in town, we were able to have some great conversations about the Gospels because she has been in a seminary class about them. We talked about how in the book of John, the writer for who it is named refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved instead of by his name John, not out of arrogance, but rather out of humility and as a result of finding his identity not in anything but in being one who Jesus loves. At Encuentro (our version of weekly chapel here) on Wednesday, we reflected on this same idea of having what defines us being one whom Jesus loves. My roommate here in Spain Becca and I talked about it afterwards: being here, we want to integrate into Spanish culture, and yet we are Americans, and when we return home we know there will be an adjustment getting back to the culture and missing things here. Yet we are not defined by being American or Spanish or anything else, but ones whom Jesus loves. Knowing that I have the steadfast unconditional love of my Creator and that His right hand is upholding me is all I need to be sustained and quenched and filled, wherever I am. Now that is reason to sing for joy!

This week, as one whom Jesus loves, I had the opportunity to experience many different Spanish things. Monday was our flamenco fiesta that we had been practicing for with all of our classes for two months. We stayed after school and had a picnic all together outside before putting on the dresses we had borrowed from school, doing our hair and makeup, and practicing a few last times. The performance was at Hospital de la Caridad, a home for elderly Spanish men. We walked over there in our flamenco dresses with flowers in our hair and were stopped by several people on the street to take pictures with them. We performed for the men at the hospital, as well as some people's señoras who had come (ours was sadly out of town) and some people who work at school. Although we still weren't great Sevillianas dancers, we had a blast and had definitely improved since the beginning! It was just wonderful to had participated in something so important in the Spanish culture and to be with good friends doing it.

Kelsey doing my makeup 

Jana and I after being all made up 

Jenna was my awesome dance partner! 

Random people on the street who wanted pictures with us

Becca and I after performing

The rest of the week consisted of tests and presentations (we have all of our tests at once so those weeks get crazy). To celebrate the end of exams until finals, five friends and I took an early morning train on Saturday to Cadiz just for the day. We walked around the town a little bit, and then spent 5 hours at the beach! The weather was absolutely perfect-- not a cloud was in the sky. I got to once again read Les Miserables (I hadn't had much time to read for fun since holy week in France!) and also just relax, collect seashells, and chat with some wonderful girls I have become close with over the last three months. It was an awesome day!

Cadiz Central Square

Lots of fresh fish in the market... 

Beautiful town

Beach with Becca, Kate, Jana, Amber and Emma!

Chocolate on the beach...A necessity

Our finished smoothies after a great day at the beach

This morning, Amber, Jana, Emma and I went to a showcase at the bullring. There were some Spanish dancers and beautiful horse-drawn carriages with people from all different places. It was very interesting and a great cultural experience! I am trying to take in everything as I know these last few weeks are going to fly by. It has gotten super hot here, and tomorrow starts Feria: the biggest party in Andalucia! I am looking forward to enjoying a couple days of that and then heading off to Switzerland on Wednesday. Thank you Lord for all the blessings of this semester, and keep reminding me of who I am and who my identity is in!

Spanish dancers

The showcase

Me, Jana and Amber outside the bullring